Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's shark week go big or go home
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize