those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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