she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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