Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
