so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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