Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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