That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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