I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
