when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
