i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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