just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
