Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
