I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
MIDGETS
????
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize