By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
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Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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