they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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