Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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