I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm like, not good at living.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize