u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
