you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize