we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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