She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize