isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
