this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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