Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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