We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
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I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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