It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize