i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
