Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
