did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
