If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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