So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
