My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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