He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
