break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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