I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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