I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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