he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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