No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
