We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Randomize