I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
