Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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