Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
