whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
