when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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