i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
