Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
