You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
