he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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