All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
