I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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