I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
