This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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