i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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