guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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