I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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