I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
