Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
