Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
