you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize