My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
