and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize