I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
