I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
