So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
